The Wrong For the Right

"Are you here to drop it off?" I ask, glancing down at the red nosed pit bull he held beside him.
   "Well, I...I dunno," the man mumbles in reply. "Ya see, my friend, he was mistreatin' her and kept her out in the backyard and wasn't treatin' her right. So I paid him two BB guns for her. I had to get her outta there, ya know?"
   I nod. I do know. I've seen these sort of dogs every week for the past three years. Pit bulls are especially hard hit by bad owners. They're not bad dogs, but they do have a bad rap. I look down at the pup, in her bright new collar-obviously put on her by her new owner- and realize that I can easily see her ribs. And by easily, I mean painfully obviously. I can see every rib bone, each hip bone, not exactly deathly starving, but neglect and abuse just the same.
   "So," I ask, "what do you want?"
   "Well," replies the man, "I wanted to know if ya'll knew where I could get her spayeded. Ya know, for sorta cheap."
   I hesitate only long enough to see him glance fondly down at his pup before I nod and turn away. I return a moment later holding a paper of the SPCA's cheap neuter clinic. I hand it to the guy and carefully explain everything that needs to be done if he decides to go through them.
   "Oh wait!" I whirl around to find Suzi IV*. "Do we have the number for the AL pit bull clinic?"
"The one that spays and neuters pits for free?" Suzi Iv asks. I nod. "Well, let me see."
I leave Suzi IV to her work while I return to the pit and her new owner. I explain what I had asked for and told him it would be a few minutes. While we waited, I stared at the pit again.
   "Do you have food for her?" I ask on a whim.
   "Uh...Ya know, not really. I just got her yesterday," came my reply.
   I nod vigorously. "Wait here," I command and trot away. In the hall, I meet Bob III. "Hey," I say, "run out to the trailer and get me the biggest bag of non-Science Diet you can find."
   While Bob III dashes away to find his quarry, I return to the front desk in time to hear Suzi IV instructing the man on the procedure of the AL clinic. When she's done I step up to the counter.
   "We're going to find some food for her, okay?" I see his face kind of melt in an extremely thankful gesture. "Just be sure that you don't feed her too much at first, or she'll just throw it back up."
   He nods, thanks written clearly across his face. "Any other tips for me?"
   I shrug. "Not really. Get her spayed and make sure she has fresh water all the time." I see his head start bobbing and I realize that I'm actually, really helping this guy.
   At that moment, Bob III returns with the food. I take the bag from him and thank him. I trot around the counter to the lobby area before returning to the pit bull man.
   "I left the food right outside the door. It's in a large orange bag."
   "Thank you. Thank you guys so much." I watch as he exits the door into the lobby area and attempts to pick up the food. After a short struggle, he manages to haul it up onto his shoulder.
   "That's all he wanted?" Suzi II asks. I nod. "Yeah. Then..yeah1 Give him all the food that he needs. Yeah!"
   I smile at her enthusiasm, but it's true. No animal shelter wants another permanent resident to walk through those doors, so when we are able to help out anyone who needs it, it's a good feeling for yourself, but w2e also just saved an animal's life.

Another Hopeful Ending

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent

Beware the Blue Juice

"Stupid Guinea pig," I mumble as I try to stop it from squirming. "Stay still so I can trim your nails."
Suzi III* raises her eyebrows without looking up from her computer. "Problems?"
"Nope," I hiss through clenched teeth.
Trying not to laugh, Suzi III lets out a small snort, some how managing to sound lady-like as she does so. "You need any help?"
"I've...got...it..."
Suddenly, our amusement is cut short by Suzi XI rushing up to the front desk, proceeded seconds earlier by a yelp from the hallway. I turn my attention from the unruly rodent and on to Suzi XI.
"Oh (censored)!" yowls Suzi XI. "Oh (censored)!"
Suzi III glances up from her computer for the first time. "What's wrong?"
"I just stabbed myself with a needle."
"Ouch," I mutter.
"Which one, Microchip?" asks Suzi III.
"No, (censored)." growls Suzi XI, as she grabs a paper towel from the roll, wrapping it around her bleeding wrist.
"Was it the rabies needle?" asks Suzi III, getting concerned now.
"Nope," pants Suzi XI.
"What then?" I speak up for the first time thus far.
"Blue Juice," rasps Suzi XI.
I glance over in time to see Suzi III's jaw drop when suddenly, the realization sinks into me too. Suzi III and I gasp together.
"Euthanasia serum?!" yelps Suzi III.
"As in the stuff used to put animals to sleep?" I gasp. "Did it go int?"
"No," growls Suzi XI, "but I just gave myself a (censored) shot of Blue Juice!"
"Well," I say, smirking, if you keel over later, we'll know why."
A bloody paper towel is thrown at me.
                                                               Another Random Ending
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent

Geico Insurance, Not Just for Cars

The squad car pulls up, slow and smooth. He stops along the side of the parking lot, near me, but not in a parking space. I glance up, pulling my attention from my alert little Sheltie; her ears high and erect, her tail poised, low and interested, her eyes intense and focused. I watch as the Police officer steps out of his car. I turn away-we get alot of cops here-and turn my attention back to the Sheltie and her potential owner: "You wanna go home with the officer?" I coo at the dog. "Huh, do ya? You wanna be a police dog? Hm? You wanna?" By now, the cop has reached the fence where we are, so I glance up to greet him. He's tall and cute, with a short military haircut, broad shoulders and obvious muscles. He wears handcuffs on one hip, a gun holstered at the other and a radio grumbling at his shoulder.
    The cop puts his hand up to the fence inviting the Sheltie over. The dog complies, bounding over and jumping up on the fence, licking the cop's hand through the mesh.
    "Ah!" The cop's voice suddenly gets high-pitched and babyish. "Is she," he points over at the woman who is out with me, interested in adopting the dog, "going to take you home? Yes, puppy! Yes!" As one, the woman and I burst out laughing.
    Finally, I remember my job. "Can I help you?" I finally ask, gasping for breath.
    "Yeah," replies the cop, regaining his composure only with a huge grin. "I found him," he reaches behind himself and opens his squad car's door. "him running loose on base. He was wearing this leather collar and a motorcycle vest."
    I look the dog over. He's cute, a chocolate lab. " I see. But doesn't the base have a shelter?"
    "Not anymore," was the only reply I got. I tell the cop to go inside and drop off the dog. He nods, but then asks if he can leave the dog in the car. "He tried to bite another cop," he explains. I nod absentmindedly, turning my attention back to the Sheltie and her potential owner.
                                                                         !@#$%^&*()
    Back at the front desk, I watch the line of people dropping off pets grow. Cats. They're all dropping off cats. Suddenly, the police officer appears in front of me.
    "Hi," I say, surprised. It's been almost an hour, why's he still here?
    "Hey," he replies, "I was told that there were many people ahead of me, but I really have to get back to the base."
    "Sure...Hold on, let me ask." I glance around despretatly. Everyone else is otherwise occupied. Choosing randomly, my gaze lands on Suzi IV*. " I walk up beside her. "He has a dog to drop off, but he's really in a hurry to get back to the base."
    Hardly looking up, Suzi IV nods, walks aournd the counter and follows the officer outside, being trailed by yours truely.
    "He told me that the dog bit another cop," I inform Suzi IV.
    The cop drags the lab out by his scruff. While Suzi IV SARs in the dog, I gather up the collar and motorcycle vest. After SARing the dog, we leash him say good-bye to the cop and head back inside. By the time we re-enter the building, the lobby-ish area has cleared out some and we are able to keep the dog with us up at the desk. As Suzi IV finishes the paperwork, I rumage through the lab's vest.I open one pocket: some loose change. Another pocket: Hm? What's this? Geico Insurance cards. I pull out the cards and turn them over.
    "Hey Suzi IV, did you find a microchip in Frank?" I say over my shoulder.
    " No, I-" Suzi IV pauses. "Frank?"
    "Yup." I reach down and floffle Frank lovely brown ears. "Frank."
    "Why Frank?"
    "He looks like a Frank."
    A volunteer walking by stops and stares at the lab for a moment. "He does look like a Frank, doesn't he."
    "Anyway," I say giding us back on topic, "did you get a chip on him?"
    "Ah, no," Suzi Iv replies, catching back up. "Which is weird because any animal on base is required to have a microchip by law."
    "Well, would this help?" I hold out the insurance cards to her. She takes them, flipping them over and looking at both sides carefully.
    "Uh...sure. I guess I could try this." She picks up the phone and punches in the Geico number found on the card. The phone is turned up loud enough for me to hear both ends of the conversation. It is as follows:
Geico Insurance Agent: Geico Insurance, how can I help you?
Suzi IV: Hey, this is Suzi IV with NYB Animal Control, I've got a weird question for you.
GIA: Animal Control...OK...
    Suzi IV proceeds to give the GIA the details. After she hangs up, I ask what's going to happen to Frank.
    "She[GIA] called both numbers on the policy, but neither was working and the holder hasn't had Geico in several years, so they're going to try E-mailing the holder instead.
                                                                           !@#$%^&*()
    1 WEEK LATER.
    I stride into the shelter, my eyes instantly falling upon Suzi IV as I oppen the inner door and step into the lobby-ish area.
    "Hey Suzi IV, what happened to Frank last week? You know, the lab that the police officer brought in?"
    Suzi IV answers distractedly without looking up. "His owner picked him up a few days ago."
                                                                             Another Happy Ending
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

I Fare Thee Well, My Love

    She stands in the entryway. 
    "You can come in," I say, pointing to the drop-off area.
    She slowly walks in. Her old yellow lab follows her even more slowly. I watch her silently,feeling the woman's own sorrow start to enter me. Suzi* comes and stands next to me.
   "I-the-I called the vet," tears start running down the woman's face as she speaks. "he said that-it-he has liver and bladder failure and I-"
    Suzi jumps in, cutting the woman off to attempt to save her more tears. "I spoke to you on the phone, right?" The woman nods miserably. "You want to put him down, yes?" The woman nods again.
    I watch as Suzi tries to fill out the paper work as quickly as she could. When she was done, Suzi carefully takes the lab on her leash. Suzi takes a couple of steps and gently tugs on the leash for the lab to follow her. It stiffly follows Suzi to the Back. Suzi comes back and holds something out to the woman. Her eyes filling ever more with tears, the lab's woman takes her fated friend's collar in her hand. I watch as Suzi -Suzi who always acts like she hates people, Suzi who plays the mean role, Suzi who always acts strong for the rest of us-walks to the other side of the counter, reaches out to touch the lab's woman's shoulder, hesitates for a fraction of a second and finally wraps both arms around the lab's grieving woman. And I am not the least bit surprised.
    After the lab's woman leaves, Suzi wipes her own tears from her eyes and looks at me. "I hate to do that. In this place, you can't do hat for anyone, or you can't be here. But... But she got to me."
    "Alas, my love, you do me wrong,
    To cast me off, discouresously,
    For I have loved you well and long,

    Delighting in your company."

Another Depressing Ending

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

We All Love Our Family

He was old. Well, old to me anyway; he was maybe 45 or 50. He walked up to the counter causing me to glance up.
      "Can I help you?"
      "Yes," he answered dully, "I'd like to go back there." He was pointing to the Petting Farm.
      "Um...I think it's closed, sorry."
      "Well, I'd just like to go take pictures."
      "Pictures?" I asked, puzzled.
      "Yeah. I'd like to take pictures of animal excrement," he stated, straight-faced.
      I jerked to a stop. "You want to take pictures of what?" The man just smiled at me. He was totally serious. "I-uh-we-um... Suzi?*" I turned to one of the caretakers for help.
       Suzi glanced up. "What?"
       "He..." I coughed. "Wants to take pictures of-um-animal droppings."
       Suzi froze, stunned. "Really?" The man nodded, smiling and completely serious.. "Really?" Suzi repeated. the man just smiled.
       Suzi 2 and Suzi 3 stopped typing on their computers and swung around towards us.
       "Why?" asked Suzi 2.
       Always one for asking the tough questions, she was.
       "I need them for my family tree," answered the man.
       "You want to take pictures of excrement for you family tr-" Suzi 3 dropped off as she realized what the man meant. (Give it a second, you will too.)
        Suzi 2 finally spoke up after a highly uncomfortable silence. "By all means, take the man to his poop."
       "I... Sure," I said. I slowly walked to the cabinet that held our keys. I grabbed the pink key from it rack, an idea beginning to form in my head. I whirled around to face Bob, who until now, had said nothing. "Would you like to take the man out to help him with his family tree or shall I?" I asked, grinning.
         Bob stared at me for a moment. "I...might as well." Slowly, Bob took the key from me.
        "Have fun!" I said cheerfully.
         I watched from the window as the two men walked out to the barn. The older man pulled out a camera from his pocket. He said something, laughing and Bob nodded,warily. Without turning around, I said: "That was-"
         "Really weird," finished Suzi 1 coming over to join me at the window.
                                                     Another Weird Ending

* Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Big Love in a Huge Man

Tats ran up and down his muscular white arms. His military-haircut cropped head caught the light as he walked up to me. I glanced up, up, up at him from the newspaper pile I was sorting.
        "Can I help you?" I asked.
        "Ah, um, yes..." He looked slightly uncomfortable- embarrassed. They all do when you talk to them, as if they're wrong to be here.
         "I'd like to see the puppy in cage one?" A question. He's uncertain.
         "Sure." I hopped up off my chair and trotted over to the leash rack, selecting a lovely pink and brown leash. I followed the muscle bound Marine through the kennels, to the first cage. A small beagle-lab-mutt puppy leapt up at the cage gate.  The brick wall of a man stopped in front of me, just short of the gate. I glanced up at the back of his hulking head.
         "Ah..." I mumbled.  The Marine glanced behind himself at me.
         "Oh! Um..." Carefully, we maneuvered ourselves so that I could reach the gate and release the puppy.  I leashed him (the pup, not the Marine) and took him to the outside visitation runs. I let the puppy off his leash and shut the door behind Tattoo Man.
           All of a sudden, the serious, cool, collected facade dropped from his face.  I watched as the Marine dropped to his knees and started coddling the puppy. He picked it up and tossed it up in the air. He put it down and got down at it's level.  I watched as the Marine crawled around on the cement with the pup. After about ten minutes, he looked up at me with those puppy dog eyes. Please? he begged. I grinned and laughed.  
          "I think you do those puppy dog eyes better than the puppy does." I took the Marine up front and drew up the pup's adoption contract.
                                                        Another happy Ending